life is beautiful

While I have come a long way, and when I say long way, I'm talking like here to New Zealand long way, I still have my moments of struggle.  My thoughts of insecurity.  As far as I've come, I still struggle with Down syndrome.  At times, I've still felt like Down syndrome is this thing that has come in between us and Kamdyn or like it has taken a part of her away from us.  Her eyes are a different color blue than Brad, Justus, and Austin.  Her hair has a different red tint to it.  Those are things that I would wonder, Did Down syndrome give her that?  It may sound silly or even foolish, but it's there, the thoughts. 

In having a casual conversation with someone, they replied, "but even her extra chromosome is from you."  That's right.  It is from me.  It's not that there has been something wedged between us, but instead that she has an extra part of us that has become a part of her.  Maybe that's why everyone says how happy and loving people with Down syndrome are.  They have been created with an extra part of love.

God has created her just the way He wanted her to be, with different blue eyes, reddish tint and all.  When I start to wonder what I'm doing or how I could have been the one chosen for this, I remind myself that this is what I was made for.  This is my calling.  Loving each of my children in all of their differences, and be assured they are all SO different.  But we are joined by love, and I have my faith and that love to guide me.

Tomorrow is our Buddy Walk.  I could think about how it might be hard or emotional for me to do this.  Since I never in a million years would have imagined that I would be walking for Down syndrome awareness, because my child has Down syndrome.  Instead, I will revel in the amazing support we have received from so many who have made donations.  Or the support from our wonderful family and friends who are walking with us.  Because even though they don't know it, they are not just walking with us.  Oh no, it's so much more than that.  They are walking beside us and carrying us with their love.  Their support has lifted us up, and given us strength.   And I'm going to end there, because I can't see past the tears anymore.  Tears of thankfulness for all of the blessings and all of the love.