I remember so vividly the days when I hated Down syndrome. I remember Kamdyn being just this tiny, fragile being and loving HER so much and HATING Down syndrome. I felt like it had taken her away from us in a way. It may sound silly, but I felt somehow Down syndrome was more responsible for her than Brad and I were. I thought, "Why are her eyes a different color than anyone else in our family? Did Down syndrome give her those eyes." I was telling someone about these feelings one day and they said, "You have remember that the extra chromosome still came from you." And that was like an Aha!, revelatory moment for me.
If anything she has an EXTRA part of us. And as I have watched her grow these last 17 months, I am convinced that extra part has to be an added dose of love. I know, sounds cheesy, right?
But if you have seen the affect that Kamdyn has on people, complete strangers even, you would know what I mean. Just yesterday, we were in the checkout line at the grocery store, and Kamdyn was in her car seat. Since we had a full cart (feeding 6 people fills up a cart, ya know?) , I had to set Kamdyn's car seat on the floor while I unloaded our groceries. When the woman in line behind me saw Kamdyn, she was immediately drawn to her. She bent down and talked to her. Brad and I have the discussion all the time about whether people know she has Down syndrome. I say most people do know, while he thinks they don't. I can't really say what it is, but there is something about the way they interact with her that tells me they know. It's different than anything I experienced with my other children. So this woman at the grocery store was leaning down talking to Kamdyn and Madison at this point, when Madison told the lady that Kamdyn has a sick heart, and we pray for her every night. The lady looked at Madison and said, "Well, I will pray for her too."
Kamdyn just has this affect on people. She makes them smile. She draws them in. People love her the second they encounter her. This is one of the many things that I love.


I never have to wonder if people know. My oldest son is very proud to tell everyone that Sweet Pea has Ds. And she has definitely added a whole new dimension of love to our lives.
ReplyDeleteI had those same feelings when Hailey was in the NICU...I never thought of her having an extra part of us! I am so hoping Hailey eventually has Kamdyn's hair (as long as it is more than now). I'm in love with her hair...and that smile!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Kamdyn is so beautiful! I've seen her photo on the Baby Center Down syndrome group before, and I love those big blue eyes! Secondly, the discussions my husband and I have mirror you and your husband exactly! I agree with what you say, just by the way people interact with our Bailey makes me realize that they do know she has Ds.
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