peace

Madison and Austin have been talking a lot lately about what they want to be when they grow up.  The other night, while Austin laid in bed, he ran down a list of preferred occupations.  I think by the end, he decided that he wanted to be a cowboy, astronaut, race care driver, restaurant owner.  On the other hand, Madison has come to me a couple of times, with stress in her voice, saying she doesn't know what she wants to be.  I tell her she can be anything that she wants to be, and God will show her what. 

While we were in the car earlier today, Madison said, "Mommy, when I grow up, I want to be a Mommy."  And Austin chimed in with, "And I want to be a Daddy!  And we can take care of Kamdyn!" 

I don't know why Austin felt the need to throw it in there about taking care of Kamdyn.  We don't really talk about that.  Maybe, in his 4 year old, today-focused mind, he knows she needs taken care of now, and he can't think far enough ahead to realize that she will grow up one day.  Or maybe, he does sense the extra care, the "special need", if you will, when it comes to Kamdyn.  I'm sure he realizes there are extra doctor appointments and the therapy.  Could be either one, I guess.

I fully expect that when Kamdyn grows up, she will get married and live on her own.  That is my expectation. 

But if for some reason that doesn't happen, and Brad and I are gone, I can honestly say that I have no fears of what will become of Kamdyn. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was telling my step-son, Justus, about the recent $3 million lawsuit that has been all the buzz lately.  And while I don't know that couple, their beliefs, or situation, it is pretty clear that there is something BIG lacking there.  What is it? 

The peace of God.  The Bible says the peace of God passes all understanding.  That means that God's peace goes above and beyond and surpasses what our human, finite minds can even comprehend.  But to have that peace, you must know God.  To know God is to know peace.  That is how I know that Kamdyn's existence is not a "wrongful birth".  From the foundation of the world, she was meant to be my daughter, and I was meant to be her mother.  God knew.  All along, he knew.

So one day, when Brad and I are gone, I have no fear of who will love Kamdyn, or what would happen if she needed help.  Because I know that our children will know the same God, the same Christ that I know.  And to know Him is to know true peace, compassion, and love.  She has 3 amazing people in her corner, who love her unconditionally.

And Ubu loves her too.