Down's kid.
What do I think when I hear it?
If you are not in the Down syndrome community, I understand that there is no way you could know that "Down's kid" is not the "proper way" to refer to my child having Down syndrome. And to be perfectly honest, I am not bothered enough by it to ever correct someone. I might respond something like, "Yes, Kamdyn has Down syndrome," just to throw it out there.
Why are some people offended by the term Down's kid?
They would say:
My child is not Down syndrome. He/she HAS Down syndrome.
It puts the diagnosis before the child.
Basically, it takes the emphasis off of who my child is and puts it on Down syndrome.
It's called People First Language. Putting the child BEFORE the diagnosis. Kamdyn has Down syndrome. Kamdyn first. Down syndrome second.
I honestly feel like it's a harmless term that people just use. People shorten everything. I don't know why. Laziness. Convenience. Whatever. People automatically call me Trish (even though I don't prefer it). People shorten my daughter's name to Maddy. I don't have to correct people with that one anymore, because Madison will tell them herself.
Most of the parents I meet with older children with Down syndrome will use the term Downs, Down's baby. Are they wrong? Well, I think they've put in more time than I have, and they have the right to call it whatever they want. I'm certainly not going to correct them.
But things have also changed A LOT since those parents started their journey. Some of them had to fight institutionalization. Many of them fought for inclusion. And they paved the way to where we are today. And today we are in a place, where our children with Down syndrome have the opportunity to be in a typical classroom, go to college, get married, and have dreams.
And none of those goals would have been reached if people had not started putting the person before the diagnosis.
Believing in the potential of the child, before counting them out for having Down syndrome.
And that's what I want.
Believe in my child.
Believe she has potential.
Believe that she is worth believing in.
Love it! I don't correct people either. I take your approach...just re-word it.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great post. What a lovely thing to think about. It's in this case that actions speak louder than words, or even rather than those words don't really matter. Great thoughts.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about 'people first' language until I started reading more about Down syndrome when I knew that we were expecting a little one with Down syndrome.
While I don't use the term Downs baby or Downs child myself, I don't feel offended when people do use it, especially since most people are really sweet about my little girl and definitely don't mean anything bad. The intention is so much more important than how they word it.
Great post! I actually do not get all bent out of shape over "Down's kids" either. I just follow up in my next sentence with "children with Ds. . . " I look at intent and I know most people to not intend to be offensive. I also look because to 2.5 years ago before Ellie. Before I knew better. Is it something I would have said? If so, I try not to get worked up. That is just me and I know that many people would disagree.
ReplyDeleteSo well said Tricia!
ReplyDelete