The road less traveled (public speaking)

I'm giving a speech tomorrow. I'm going to start by reading The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. And here's the rest:

We took our first steps onto the road less traveled by on April 27th, 2010 when Kamdyn was born.  We were told the following day that doctors suspected she had Down syndrome. 2 weeks later we were given the positive results. 

When the doctors told us they thought Kamdyn has Down syndrome, my mind immediately flooded to all the things I thought she would never do. I completely lost sight of who she was. And I doubted myself and my ability to love her.

After a few weeks of being at home and seeing that, although there were some differences, my life had not changed that much. We were still the same family, and Kamdyn was our baby. When she was a month old, and we found out she was in heart failure, it hit me how much I really loved her. She needed me, and I knew I needed her too.

Those next few months were spent working with doctors about Kamdyn's health and spending time with my kids and enjoying them. I made a point to take them on a picnic, go to the park, and have fun. And Kamdyn was a part of all of it. I saw more and more that she fit into our family perfectly. 

When Kamdyn was about 5 months old, I felt like I was ready to learn about Down syndrome, what it means, and how it may affect Kamdyn's life. I wasn't really worried anymore about how it would affect me, because I was seeing that no matter what, we would be ok. We were happy.

 I learned that typical people have 46 chromosomes. Kamdyn, however,  has 47. This is called Trisomy 21. Kamdyn has 3 copies of the 21st chromosome, and these copies are repeated over and over again to make up her body. In a lot of ways Down syndrome is a mystery. No one knows what causes the extra chromosome or why it happens. People of all races, ethnicities, economic backgrounds, and ages can have a child with Down syndrome. There are actually more younger mothers with a child with Down syndrome, since more young women are having babies.  Doctors don't know why some children with Down syndrome,  like Kamdyn, have heart defects, while others don't. Some have vision or hearing impairments, others don't. Some have GI issues, and others don't. The extra chromosome affects each child differently. They are all unique. 

There are misconceptions about Down syndrome. I think a common thought that people have about people with Down syndrome is that they are retarded and not smart. First of all, there is an entire movement called "Spread the Word to End the Word". They are referring to the word retard. The word retard has become so commonly used, and always in a negative, insulting way, and it has become inappropriate. Parents, siblings, family members, and people with down syndrome find it hurtful and offensive, and they are asking people to stop using it. Many states now have legislation in place to use the term "developmental disability" or "cognitive disability" instead of the word retard. Secondly, there are seven intelligences:

1. Linguistic

2.logical/mathematical

3.naturalist

4.musical

5.bodily/kinesthetic

6.spacial

7.interpersonal

8.intrapersonal

One of the many things that Kamdyn has taught me is that we should celebrate all abilities, all intelligences, and all differences. Just because someone doesn't speak perfectly clear, it doesn't mean they are not smart or can't understand you. I have found that the more I open up to someone with a disability and make an effort to get to know them, the more I see their strengths and personality.

Another misconception is that people with Down syndrome are always happy. I like the way About.com explains it when they say, " it is important not to stereotype people with Down syndrome. They experience a full range of emotions, and have their own characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, and styles. No two people with Down syndrome will have identical personalities." 

People with Down syndrome are no longer hidden away. They are living and working among us. They have dreams and goals, and they want to be heard. People with Down syndrome are getting their license, going to college, getting married, finding jobs they are proud of, and living fulfilling lives. There was a study done recently, and 97% of people with Down syndrome between the ages of 12 and 52 like who they are. And 99% of those people are happy with their lives. 99%! 

One of the resources that has been invaluable to us On our journey has been the York Area Down Syndrome Association. Kamdyn has been given countless opportunities and experiences through YADSA, as we call it. We had the opportunity to attend a national convention and learn about everything from health issues to education. YADSA also took us to the Trisomy 21 Symposium at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, and we were able to listen to and learn from top doctors in the field. This year Kamdyn received an iPad through a YADSA grant. The iPad is a wonderful educational and therapeutic tool for her. One of the things I am most proud of is YADSA purchasing Down syndrome diagnosis materials for OB/GYN offices in our area, and Kamdyn and I got to deliver them. And, of course, we provide support and information to new parents through our new parent packet and other activities.

When you have challenges, there are two choices that we have: get bitter, resentful, and angry, or find the beauty, be thankful, and be positive. Really, that's not hard for me to do, because I'm not suffering from an illness; I haven't lost anything. Kamdyn has only added to my life. She has brought joy, more love, and acceptance to our lives. I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't trade with anyone else. As the years go on, I know there will be challenges and hard times. And whatever comes our way, I choose to be positive and find the beauty. And that will make all the difference.

Thank you

I'm not good at this type of thing, so I'm hoping for the best,a nd that I don't choke. Wish me luck!