From Awareness to Acceptance: accept who they are

I was thinking about Down syndrome Awareness month the other day.  I definitely think that there is a place for awareness.  When Kamdyn was born, I needed awareness.  I knew nothing about Down syndrome.  But as I learned, I started sharing it with others.  So the other day, I thought, "What now?"  Anyone who knows Kamdyn and I is pretty aware at this point.  I started thinking about what the next step should be.  Then, I read Meriah's post about making this Down syndrome Acceptance Month instead of Awareness Month.  So let's do that.  Let's spend this month talking about ways that we can move past awareness and to acceptance.

Image by Meriah Nichols

One of the first things that comes to mind with ACCEPTANCE is accepting WHO the person is.  Accept them as they are.  Think about your spouse.  If you married your spouse because you wanted to change them, your relationship is probably doomed.  You accept them for who they are, and you love them. We need to accept people with Down syndrome for who they are.  We need accept them AS THEY ARE.  

I know that Down syndrome is not a spectrum like Autism, but once you get to know some people with Down syndrome, you cannot help but notice how different they are.  Obviously there are a lot of similarities too, but you cannot deny the differences.  In personality, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and even physically.  Kamdyn is shy.  She does not like meeting new people, and she gets very nervous in new situations.  But once she is comfortable, she is full of personality, and she is so much fun to be around.  Kamdyn is significantly delayed in her fine motor skills and speech and language.  She learns things very quickly though, and she usually surprises us with things that we didn't know that she knew or understood.  We have Kamdyn in several different therapies, mostly at school, to help her with some of her delays.  But I decided a while back that our life as a family and her life, cannot be run by therapy appointments.  The areas that she is delayed in are just that: DELAYS.  Delay means that the event occurs later.  She will get it.  She just needs more time, and she needs me to accept her for who she is and where she is at.  

    

What about friends and family who aren't directly involved with someone with Down syndrome like Kamdyn?  How can they show acceptance?  They can do the same thing: accept them for who they are.  Stop comparing them to each other and to that other child with Down syndrome that you knew, who was "higher functioning".  They aren't a dishwasher.  They are a person.  They are a child.  Accept them.  Every person has value, and every person has something to offer the world.  If you can't see that, than you are missing it.  

What are some practical, day-to-day things that you can do when you see someone with Down syndrome?  You can say "Hello", and then WAIT for a response.  Let them answer.  "What if I don't understand what they say" might be your response.  I think if you really listen and try, you will understand.  But if you can't, so what?  What harm was done?  You will have treated that person with kindness and respect and tried to make a connection with them.  You can't wrong in doing that.  

I might be writing to myself here at this point, and I might be preaching to the choir with some of these posts that I have in mind, but I would like to keep talking about this subject of ACCEPTANCE throughout the month of October.  Let's talk about it.  Let's share ideas and experiences.