life is beautiful

April 27th was the day that would change my life forever. When I woke up that morning, I never expected what would happen later that day. I went to a church moms meeting that morning. I sat as we discussed our kids, discipline, coupons, and other things. I always get such encouragement from those meetings.
After the meeting, I had a doctor's appointment since I was 36 weeks pregnant. At my appointment, I was shocked to find out that I was 5 cm dilated, that the baby was transverse, and footling. Then, the dreaded word-- C SECTION. Since my first two were natural, I was terrified at the thought of a c section. I cried as I called my husband on the phone to tell him. I even had to have one of the ladies at the office tell him, because I just couldn't believe it. What had begun as a quick doctor's appointment was rapidly turning into something that I had not expected.
Once I got to the hospital, everyone went into delivery mode. They took me into triage, where swarms of people were in and out. Questions were being asked, papers being filled out, and I still could not believe this was happening. It didn't hit me what was really happening until they handed my husband a scrub gown to put on. "I don't even have my camera", I said with tears in my eyes as it hit me that I was about to have a baby!  My comfort was the thought of my sweet baby in my arms.
I shook as I made that walk to the OR. I felt cold and nervous as I entered the room and sat on the operating table. After I got my spinal, they laid me down on the table and finally let my husband come into the room. It was such a relief to have him there beside me. He is my rock and my supporter. It seemed to take forever as they started the surgery. My chest burned and it was hard to breathe. Just a few hours earlier, I was sitting in a room filled with moms discussing coupons and now I was laying on a table, sliced open. When they finally pulled her out the doctor said, "It's a girl." I was thrilled to hear that since we had decided to make the sex of the baby a surprise. I cried tears of joy. Those first few seconds stood still as I longed to hear her cry. "Please cry, please cry", I pleaded. And there it was. The most wonderful sound. The sound of your brand new baby crying. I breathed a sigh of relief and laid my head down. I felt like I was in a daze. But I knew everything was ok. Our beautiful baby girl, Kamdyn, was here.



Those next few hours were a blur as I tried to recover from the surgery. Visitors were in and out. Madison and Austin came to see their baby sister for the first time. Between all of the visitors and dozens of pictures, Brad came to me and whispered to me, "You know, she kind of looks a little like she has Down Syndrome." "No, she just looks like that, because she was just born," I said. That would never be a thought in my mind. That just would not happen to us. It could never happen. It didn't even cross my mind again as I went to sleep that night.