Politically Correct

I've always been confused by political correctness.  Obviously, some things are offensive and go without saying, but others are questionable.  Maybe something would bother one person but not another.  Now that we are faced head on with having a person in our family with a disability, I've had to think about it a little more.  Although, in the past, I used the word retard, now that little word grates on every nerve of my being.  When I hear it, there is a scene that plays in my head.  A scene of some prepubescent bully standing over my little girl, sneering down on her, saying, "You retard", while onlookers laugh.  That is what the word retard is to me.  That word is never meant in a nice way, never with love.  Even if it's not being used to mock, it is a cold, impersonal, distant word.  I don't like it.

There are a lot of things that I don't feel the need to correct.  Even though they are not necessarily what I would say, I know that they are meant will no ill intention.

I do, however, want to make a difference in everyone we meet.  I want people to see that our lives did not end with a diagnosis.  I want people to see how happy, how blessed we are.

The "More Alike Than Different" campaign is a great way to explain it.  Certainly there are differences to our life now.  I would be delusional to deny it.  Having therapists come into our home 3 times a week is different.  Taking my infant to a cardiologist is different.  Having to accept the fact that I could never realistically dream of my child becoming a doctor, a lawyer, or a nurse if I wanted to, is different.  Sure there are differences.  But when you get down to the basics of life, the foundation, all of those differences aren't important anymore.

Right now, Kamdyn plays with toys, likes to eat, and loves it when we play with her, just like any other baby.  When she's walking, she will pull things off the shelf, knock things over, and makes disastrous messes just like every other toddler.  One day, she will love to color, play with play doh, paint, and create just like her brother and sister do right now.  I'm sure she will love to smell flowers, wear pretty dresses, and think she is a princess just like her sister.  She will grow and learn, write and read.  She will pray and have faith just like the rest of us.  One day, she will have a crush on a boy, who I'm sure will break her heart just like every other girl goes through.  She will have family dinners, memorable vacations, holiday traditions.  And through it all, she will love and be loved, just like everyone else.  That, my friends, is more alike than different.

That's what I want people to know.

As long as you don't use that dreaded "r" word, I'm not worried about what other terminology is used.  I don't care whether you say child with Down syndrome or Downs baby, mentally disabled or mentally handicapped.  If I get caught up in every little word that is spoken, and take offense to everything, it will have exactly the opposite reaction than what I want.  I feel like if I get stuck on the semantics than people will feel awkward and alienated by us.  Then, they won't give us a chance, in fear of offending us, and they won't give Kamdyn a chance, in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. 

 I just want to love my girl and let the world see it.  I want the world to see, that if we are just a family, who happen to have a child with Down syndrome.  And our life is beautiful.

Austin's party was so much fun with all of the family and friends that we love.  There were a few who couldn't make it, because of the busy time of year, but we were thrilled about everyone who was able to make it.  We actually canceled the party, due to a big snow report, and put it back on in the morning, because the storm missed us.

When Austin's guests arrived, he used a hole puncher to punch their "tickets", which were the invitations that we sent out.  I used black streamers to make train tracks leading up to the door where there was a sign that said Austin station and a yellow railroad crossing sign that I made with poster board.  I scrambled to make his Thomas cake that morning after we put the party back on.  If I ever do it again, I will have to think of something to use as a smoke stack.  I love putting personal touches on my kids parties and making them as special as possible.  We're already talking about Kamdyn's birthday.  Theme:  butterflies.  Time to let the imagination fly.