Madison is 5

My girl turned 5 the other day.  We strayed from our typical at-home celebration to a roller skating party at a local roller skating rink.  I feel like we lost some of that personal touch, but my girl....................

was happy.

And that's all that matters.

Each year, I see more of this little being that she is becoming emerge.  I can't help but pray that she grows to be everything that I know she can despite me and whatever failures I may have.  I hope that I'm not making her grow up too fast, but I think that part of that comes with being the oldest.  I wonder if one day she will feel like she had to grow up too fast, because she has a little sister with special needs.  I wonder if she will think that I was too hard on her.  I am finding this balance of encouraging her personality and self, while also encouraging meekness, kindness, gratitude, and manners.  So when she said that she didn't want us to sing to her, I reluctantly agreed.  She is developing this shy nature lately that gets embarrassed over attention, and I can completely relate.  But at the last minute, she said that we could sing.  I stood behind her with my arms around her, and we sang.  It felt good that my presence was enough to make her feel confident in front of everyone.  I had always hoped that my kids wouldn't be shy like me, but I guess there is nothing that I can do about it.

Dear Madison,
     I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday.  The feeling that I had after you came into the world is one that cannot be replaced.  It is a happiness, excitement, gratitude, and love that can hardly be described.  Your Daddy and I looked at you, then we looked at eachother, and we just cried, because you were so amazing.  You made me a Mommy, and it was the greatest feeling in the entire world.  Now you are far from a baby, and you don't even want me to call you my baby anymore.  You take delight in explaining that you are a big girl, and you are.  You are becoming a young lady, and you are beautiful.  I have loved to see this nurturing, caring, affectionate side of you that you have shown even more since your baby sister was born.  You don't see her as anything other than your baby sister, and you are the best big sister to her.  I love watching the two of you together.  I pray that as you grow, you will continue to show that caring, affectionate side of you.  I pray that you will not let your shyness hold you back.  And I pray that you will love Jesus with all your heart.  Thank you for making me a Mommy and being such a precious gift.  I love you, Mommy.