Kamdyn is 2

When the clock turned midnight, and it officially became Kamdyn's day of birth, I had this urge to hold her.  Suddenly, every fear, every doubt, every critical thought came flooding back to my mind like a tsunami.  And I regretted every one.  I went to her crib, where she lay, breathing steadily in and out, and I picked her up.  I hugged her close to my chest, and I let the tears flow.  But this time they weren't flowing, because of any of those fears or doubts I had two years.  They were flowing, because in that moment, my love for her felt so much stronger than any fear I ever had.

I sat in the green rocking chair that our friends all chipped in for as a baby shower present while I was pregnant.  I put my cheek against hers, and I told her that I was sorry for not celebrating her in those early days of her life.  I told her I was sorry for not seeing her.  I told her I was sorry for doubting her. 

And while I still may have my days where it may hurt that she has to do things like therapy, or that other things down the road may be harder for her, the realization that those things really don't matter seem to quickly overtake those thoughts.  Why don't they matter?  Because I love her.  So much.  With all of my heart.  And I know that everything will be ok. 

I summed it up pretty well on my Facebook wall yesterday when I wrote: 2 years ago today was a day that changed my life forever. And if I could go back to that person I was on that day, I would tell her that her life will be so much better, more extraordinary. Life will taste so much sweeter, the little things will mean so much more, and the big things won't seem so big. And if today, someone handed me that magic wand I so desperately wished for back then, I'd hand it back and say, "No thanks, I wouldn't change a thing." Thank you God for having a better plan for my life than I would have planned on my own.

And now I'll bore you with pictures of Kamdyn opening birthday presents:

RaRa always gets the best dresses for church:

Giving her peas a hug:

Holding her Pinkalicious doll in her hand while she opens the BIG gift:

PopPop, MomMom, and NanNan combined forces and got her a water/sand table. 

And the cake:

She's like her Mommy.  Nobody has to tell this girl what to do with cake.

It was in her mouth the second Brad plopped it onto her tray.

And I think she set a new Guinness Book of World Record for the amount of time it takes to eat a piece of cake.

Thank you, Lord for letting me be Kamdyn's Mommy.  Thank you, Kamdyn for being you.