#4
"Special kids for special parents."
When Kamdyn was born, and the doctor told us that she has Down syndrome, I cannot even express to you how much I did not want my child to have Down syndrome. I wanted so badly to put her back inside my belly, go back to the hospital, and have a re-do. I cried and cried and cried more than I can say. Just the words Down syndrome made me cry. Does that sound special to you? Not me.
So when people said that, it honestly just made me feel like God had chosen the wrong person. A special parent, like I was apparently supposed to be, would accept Down syndrome. A special parent wouldn't have all these doubts and fears. A special parent would be able to see past Down syndrome. And I couldn't. I would learn to, because God would give me grace and Kamdyn would teach me.
But that statement only made me feel more ashamed of myself for my feelings and more isolated, because if anyone knew, they'd know I wasn't special.
Not only that, but I also don't believe that I do anything that any good mom wouldn't do. Some people shouldn't be moms at all, but any decent mother would do any of the things I do. I just do my best to help my daughter be who she is and reach her full potential. That's all. It's not really special. It's just being a mom. A mom who loves her kid.
You know, this one wasn't one that bothered me a whole lot either, because like you said it comes from a good place right? But then on a post Jisun wrote a few weeks back she talked about it. I have never thought about it the same way since. What is "special kids to special parents" really saying? That a "special kid", would be to much for a regular parent, that they would be too heavy of a burden for just an average parent to take on. I don't want anyone thinking I am special for loving my son...Or that he is a burden to bare and so we must be special because we raise him. Nope, no special parents here...Like you said, I'm just a Mom who loves my kid!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, great post!