Dear Kamdyn (As your 4th birthday approaches)

Dear Kamdyn,

The thing that is impressed on my heart this year as your 4th birthday approaches (in one month) is the freedom that I feel to embrace this journey that we have been on together.







When you were born, I was scared. I was worried that I couldn't be enough for you.  I was worried that I would fail you.

But here we are today. 


(World Down syndrome Day 2014)


We are happy.  And while I know now that there was no need for all that worry and fear that I felt, I embrace that it was a necessary part of my journey that I had to take, because it brought us to where we are today.



When you were a baby, you started physical therapy when you were just 8 weeks old.  Every week, your therapist would come to our home and work with you, while teaching us how to help you.  Eventually, we were working towards teaching you to walk.  Every day, we worked toward reaching that goal.  We would hold your wobbly frame as your legs struggled to hold yourself up.  We guided your steps along the edge of our couch to show you how to cruise along the furniture.  You tightly held our hands as we guided you along your first assisted steps.  Then, one day, you let go.  And you did it. 

And looking back, I was learning to walk too.  In the beginning, I could barely hold myself up.  Just the words "Down syndrome" were enough to bring to my knees.  My family, my faith, and my love for you was what held me up.  Soon, I was taking my own "first steps" in learning about what Down syndrome meant, advocating, and getting involved in the Down syndrome community.  But more importantly, I was learning about who you are.  I was seeing past your diagnosis and embracing YOU.  I was walking on this road of special needs and Down syndrome, but I was also just loving you and being your mom.  We learned to walk together.

As you worked toward reaching all of your milestones, I was working on my own milestones.  Milestones of acceptance.  Milestones of growth. 

So this is the year.  The year I embrace my journey.  It wasn't perfect.  It is stained with tears in those early days, but the love, the joy, and the gratefulness to have you were what came shining through.  The journey has been beautiful.  It has been worth it.

You are worth it, dear heart.  I've said it before.  You are changing the world one heart at a time, but mine was first. 

All my love,
Your mommy.