Coming To Terms: walking the line

For me, my journey with Down syndrome has been like walking a line.  The day that the doctor told us he suspected she has Down syndrome, that line was as thin as a thread.  There was no way I could walk it.  I fell, and I fell hard.  Kamdyn's diagnosis turned my world upside down.  It feels so unfortunate that it happened that way, but it did.  I was floundering and lost.

As I walked, that line got a little more wide, but I still fell pretty easily.  When she didn't smile, sit up, or crawl when other babies did, I stumbled again.  But she always brought me back, showing me that she would get there, little by little.  We were doing it together.  Looking back now, I am so grateful for that experience and everything I learned through it.

Kamdyn's first birthday came, and again, I fell hard.  I had so much guilt over how I handled her diagnosis and that line got really thin again.  So I did what I feel is the only option.  I embraced the journey that I had been on and handed the rest over to God, and I kept walking.  And while I didn't celebrate her when she entered this world, I can celebrate her now.



As I did that, that line grew and grew.  Today, it takes a pretty hard blow to knock me down.  I've come to see the world differently over these last 4 years.  I no loner look at my daughter and wonder how she will fit into a world that is different from her.



I look at the world, and I ask it, How will you change so that you can have the privilege of seeing all that this person, and those like her, have to offer.