on the grocery store

I've been on both ends of the spectrum at the grocery store.  I remember the times after Austin was born, when I would brave the store with my one year old, an always hungry and nursing baby boy, and my niece.  So I spent many a trip to the store with a screaming one year old and a crying baby.  By the time I left the store, I was hot, sweaty, and shaking from shot nerves.  But I kept going anyway.  As time goes on, it does get easier. 

Those chaotic times are less often and less intense now.  Although they do still happen.  I was in the store a few months back, while I was still pregnant, and it wasn't going so great.  A kind lady, who also had a toddler, had pity on me.  She walked up to me, handed me a dum dum lollipop and said, "These work for me.  I always bring some." 

Then there are the times when my kids are being the perfect angels, riding quietly in the cart or diligently helping mommy get the shopping done.  We're bound to notice a not-so-lucky mom on those trips,  frustrated and toting a screaming tot through the store.  It's in those moments, that I look into my children's eyes, and intensely say, "You see that.  That is bad. You shouldn't do that."  And my little wide-eyed angels nod their heads and say, "Yeah, that is bad.  We're being good."  I, of course, would never let anyone else hear me say it.  I realize it could just as easily be me picking up items that have been thrown from the cart or trying to calm a screaming child.  I know that I could be just one dum dum away from a major melt down.  I'm always willing to try anything to make our trip smoother.

For now, I'll rush through the store a try to finish in that small allotted window of time before the lid blows and an exit is a must.  But it won't be like that forever.  One day, I'll be strolling alone through a grocery store, watching mothers trying to appease their little ones and get their shopping done.  

Tonight, after the kids were in bed, I went to the store by myself.  While it is nice every once in a while, I think I might thrive on the challenge of having them there.  Plus I still forgot the milk and had to go back and get it.  That's something I would usually blame on being rushed, but I guess I'm really just a scatter brain.